Do you have a particularly intriguing question about cellular biology? Do you also have the distinct predicament of only being able to speak Japanese? Worry not, for Guru is here for you!
M J Gurudarshan, also called Guru, GDS and a host of other self-assigned nicknames, is the resident BioTech, KDrama, KPop and YouTube parody/prank expert. While these may seem like disparate fields of expertise, Guru has somehow managed to master them all. How he achieved this remarkable feat remains a mystery known only to him.

One might read about these feats of his and wonder, "Wow, he totally seems like such a cool and mysterious guy. I’m sure I’d enjoy talking to him. I wonder how I can spot him in this vast college of ours?”. One need not worry. One only needs to spot a tall, lanky figure sporting a mask (in 2024, mind you) zipping by on his ancient scooter at surprisingly high speeds. How such an antique machine manages to be ridden at such high velocities, one is forced to wonder. Perhaps Guru has applied his genetic knowledge to engineer these super-horsepowers. Yet, with a propensity for shockingly timed 'roasts' and electrifying energy in discussing all things cooking, it was only a matter of time before he 'upgraded' to an electric scooter.

Known to his inner circle of medieval Chinese biologists as Zhang Qilin, and to other plebeians as Bing Chilin, Guru is a passionate student of the biological sciences. He runs his own Cell Community, eager to share his knowledge and expertise. He is also a regular volunteer, helping out students in schools across the district. Alas, this kind-hearted disposition is often eclipsed by the confoundingly engrossing antics of the "Innocent man of JSSSTU" (no one has ever called him that).

A notable man of science, GeeDee has ditched Copernicus’ outdated heliocentric concept to the rather interesting ‘Gurucentric’ view of the universe. He is also quite like a medieval wizard: He takes himself quite seriously, and normal people will find his practices extremely confounding. Everything on his phone is in Korean, acting as a sort of ‘privacy guard for the koreaboo’. He's also quite infamous for his potions (or 'teas' as he calls them). If you find a curious looking herb or flower, chances are Guru has the perfect tea recipe for it. He's also known for his wizardry in turning any grain into laddoos and popcorn(pop-ragi anyone?)

A frequent visitor of confession pages, he draws a disturbing amount of information from these risqué avenues. He also uses his crystal ball to stalk and note down the weirdest LinkedIn profiles, collecting information that one couldn't even extract in an interrogation. If any reflection of yours has unfortunately landed in his phone, prepare to be transported to universes where you’re black, Chinese or even one where you find this AI ‘art’ agreeable. If you’re around him when he whips out his phone with a smirk under his mask, prepare to be scarred for life.
And just like a wizard, you can take your most peculiar problems to him. Whether it is finding the perfect Laotian TV drama, crafting relentlessly random nicknames, or locating the 752 best eateries in town, this crafty sorcerer will get you your solution.
Being an Eddie in the Guru era is proving to be a metaphorical blast thus far, and I eagerly await the day when it inevitably turns into a literal blast!